Before you decide to have feelings for someone, I suggest you:
- Don’t do that
- Drink a glass of water
- Don’t be an idiot
- Stop feeling things
- Become cynical
- Transcend your corporeal form
- Ascend from this planet
- Become an otherworldly being
- Thank me
why the fuck did you let me fall so hard if you were never going to be there to catch me.
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell